You cant park here, says the cop. Brits prefer brooms over vacuum cleaners when cleaning their floors. The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns: Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. What did the French friend answer when he was asked to wear a costume for the party? 135. Because it was a beret good time! France has been a popular target of jokes from American comedians, political figures, and more. Having been developed throughout the centuries, it had adopted various cooking traditions from neighboring countries as well. ", Interviewer: "Congratulations, you passed!". What did the short American scientist say to the tall British scientist? Because they hate Toulouse. There are the Irish, who joke about buttoned-up Brits (Whats the English definition of a thrill? A British fish and an American fish met each other many years later. 33. Irish stand-up Andrew Maxwell cuts to the chase on our grasp of geography: Number one, it's not the Irish border, it's the British border in Ireland. By Mostafa Abedinifard. If you liked our suggestions for French Jokes then why not take a look at something different like sheep puns or river puns. 148. Jay Leno, "The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. By shooting 15cm above his head, right in the middle of his superiority complex.. What was the man feeling after he got swindled right under Big Ben? Because the taste is brie-ond brie-lief! Une d'elles se fait craser et l'autre s'crie "Oh pure !" (This is the story of two potatoes. 153. 46. What is the favorite song that French people love listening to? Q: How many gears does a French tank have?A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear. I want to know what it is now! Pierre shares amazing stories of his time all over the world. 170. What can I get you fellas? One week she was busy, so she dropped him off, and said he could pick some books while she shopped. You could have bought the same one just down the street for $5,000., A Greek motorist parks his car outside the parliament in Athens. Fin. What do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing? 13. Theyve let their oil go to their heads. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Listen to Marcus Brigstocke as Budleigh Saltertons biggest idiot. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. The Belgians on the (parsimonious) Dutch: Dutch husband to Dutch wife: Put your coat on, dear. Why, darling, are we going out? No, I am. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, French Funny Jokes That Are Revolutionary, 40 Best Trombone Jokes And Puns That Don't Blow. You should never question the royal family's tea choices. He thought a game was afoot. Eventually they decide to let the people judge. "I can't handle your luggage, I'm only a 're-porter'", he chuckled. Thats another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.. 16. I must say, at least the Brits dont try to drink coffee in a bowl! 160. All my vehicles sit on Michelin tires. French phenomenon Marcel Lucont on English cuisine: What is black and white and red all over? Carle says he didnt want to make a programme focused on Brexit, but he was surprised by the casual attitude of the English towards their impending departure from the EU. Translated quote in French: LAngleterre a bti Londres pour son propre usage, la France a bti Paris pour le monde entier. American Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher. 14. 54. 3. So, he asked me what I was going to make for dinner. 14. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. Did you hear about the small chicken that lived in a Parisian opera house? The nationalities involved may vary, though they are usually restricted to those within Ireland and the UK, and the number of people involved is usually three or sometimes four. He wanted to try killing two Brits with a 'scone'. So the other one could drive! The d-eclair-ation of man's every right. Because they have Nantes-thing to crib about. And hows the family? asks Pekka. Ils ne savouent jamais vaincus. He surrendered." The Romanians on the (mean-spirited) Hungarians: Ive had all the tests, and the doctor tells me theres no question, Im xenophobic. These well-intentioned jokes are meant to bring laughter and joy to any conversation so that you avoid any awkward silences. 6. It is time to Hugo to work, mon cherie. What would a French dog who loves eating potatoes be called? After their first greeting, the British fish said to the American fish, "I can't believe this is the first time we're going to see each other from across the pond.". I think it is better to make drinking tea a habit since it provides you with a lot of health benefits. What did the mother say to his son when he verbally abused her? If I were Maria in 'The Sound of Music' and I heard them sing 'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria' at my wedding, I would be like, "Why are you singing that mean song about me, and why do all of you know it? What did the French lover say to his wife who was late for work? 76. His opinion of French engineering skills was very poor. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. How do you know James bond is British? are in The Louvre, looking at a painting of Adam and Eve. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. 12. Finnish comedian Ismo Leikola on pub toilets: Why on earth do the cubicles open inwards? Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. A 'queue tea.'. 5. A tube filled with smarties. French people give me the crepes. The Swiss on the (not very bright) Austrians: Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red? Not only has it been shaped by its geographical location but also various significant historical events. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. What do you call a sweaty British Millionaire? What does the British fox say? So how are you? asks Pekka. 'A Tale of Two Cities' was originally serialized in two local papers in the British Midlands. I saw him today; he was clearing out his desk. How do we know Rick is British? 27. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. 93. I complain about things afterwards, he says. What's a British student's favorite drink? What a wild Hyde this trip has been. They French kiss deeply, he pulls back and says In America, we call that a Strawberry Sundae! She responds Yah, shuure, vee do too., Pierre Dumonte Wiffade was a French explorer and biologist who was, in 1792, considered one of the countrys chief ornithologists. Why do you eat this thing? 2. "Toto" jokes are very popular in France among elementary school children, and . 36. P.J O'Rourke (1989), "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." Why is no one late in London? There is no difference between openly mocking sexual orientation, racism and anti-French jokes. He is Socialist Franois Hollande. Then he says Thanks for cleaning the house today honey.. When you come back, you better have my Monet. He wanted to Gauguin. One of them is run over and the other one says "Oh pure !") Who doesn't love a good potato joke? How does one usually feel after visiting France? Why did the British Air hostess not allow any more tea bags into the plane? British people are very artistic, probably because they consume a lot of 'creativi-tea'. A. 142. They got tea-bagged. You can read more quotes about Paris here. If there is anyone that has a love-hate relationship, it is Britain and France. I want the term' England's Royalty' printed on my hoodie. Dr. Whoot. 37. How did you Charlemange-age to pack so many things? 'Tennish'. French tv presentator Philippe Bouvard, speaking of the colonial expansion of English beyond the borders of England. Frenchman Benjamin Carle likes a challenge. An empty ferry. What did the little champagne bottle call his father? Un homme qui ne parle quune langue est anglais. Claude Gagnire. What did the tourist say when he wanted to visit the French museum? Whats that about?. I hate my joball I do is crush cans all day. Candide. What sort of soup is this? 78. Jokes Only Germans Will Understand. 60. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Lots of fun- really great space and good solid food. Article 50. She had a horrible 'heir' day. Original in French: Le seul point sur lequel les Anglais saccordent parfaitement avec les Franais, cest de conduire sur la file de gauche. Anonymous, Ah, those Brits and the French: can never agree on anything. So me (not a German, but was living in Germany those days) and a colleague (who is French and lives in France too) were "on-site" in Austria visiting a customer. The American philosopher lived in Paris for several years. The past tense of William Shakespeare. When taken out of context, jokes may come across as mean or seem to promote cultural appropriation. After living in Paris over 10 years, I can tell you all about it! Instead they ended up with British cuisine, French technology, and American culture. Immediately they start to explore the island and encounter a native tribe. They take forever to leave. What do Great Britain and houseguests have in common? And some are so bad they're good. Walloon French differs from the 'Standard' French dialect and is therefore seen as an inferior or uneducated version of French. Two days after Christmas in Germany. 25. So what did Carle like, dislike and not understand after his journey of discovery among the people the French love to hate? Past tea time. They were 'globe-trotting'. She is fond of classic British literature. They have left EU. Perhaps shock, horror were that kid at school who always wondered why the room went so quiet when he came in, So, what is so funny about us Brits? Baguette up about it! What do you call a British soldier who lives in a bathroom? 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but still manages to get invaded. Regis Philbin, "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "Thank you so much for pudding up with my mess!" 38. 39. 15. 107. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. After all, laughter is the best medicine! What's something that feels British but isn't? Because it is nothing to Lafayette. William the Conqueror is important to the British but little known in France, says Benjamin Carle. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. By throwing a Bonapart-y. 65. Wine not? Humorous Quotations and Jokes about France, Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, 35 Best Late-Night Jokes About Hillary Clinton, Funniest Memes Reacting to Hillary's Email Saga, Jokes about Iran and U.S. Plans for War with Iran. They could only play the hand that they were 'celt'. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? 164. Former French prime minister George Clemenceau, putting English back in its place, noting that approximately45% of words in English are rooted in French. 41. The customs officer asks "Do you have a previous criminal history?" 61. Of course, Nicolas Sarkozy handed over power in the traditional French manner. If you are interested, you can read about actual French inventions here. 'Tea-shirts'. Chacun se bat pour ce qui lui manque! 138. He is charming, romantic, and exciting. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. Because it is st-Eifel-ing. He needs a licence to kill. What element do British people like early in the morning? They're always nearly on the 'Thames'. A 'Lu-Tennant. 49. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. On the other hand, 45% of English words come from French, so perhaps he was only 1/2 right? The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man. ', 74. Why did the French choose the cockerel as their national symbol? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. Having the right comedic timing makes the jokes appropriate and ensures no one's feelings are hurt. How did the French leader Napoleon have fun? 100 years war between France and England - credit: 45% of words in English are rooted in French, Regional languages in France: 24 Facts and history, 30 Funny French Phrases & Idioms (Life, Animals and more), 35 French quotes about friendship and family, Enchant: Saying Nice to Meet You in French, Skiing at Flaine (Grand Massif, Alps): Travel guide, Valentines day in France: How the French celebrate, French word of the week: Lamour (14/2/2023). They go back to his hotel and start making out. He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help. Why was Sherlock Holmes looking at the Monopoly box with suspicion? Ed dit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! Practice your French with these fun for all French jokes with English translation and audio recordings, and meet Toto, the most famous French prankster! Each time, he would ask them the same three questions: The ad read in good condition. 119. What unit of measurement do the British use to measure very heavy objects? He loves to express it on Fox News at any occasion. Which days are the strongest? The Ukrainians on the (filthy rich but stupid) Russians: Ive just bought a tie for $3,000. Idiot! Fin-tastic. The rest are 'weekdays'. Score: 2. If the British empire spoke Queen's English does that mean the Americans spoke rebels' tongues? The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!". Britain's collective memory is also distinct but is more often defined against the French. It is impossible to Rouen the trip. David Letterman, Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?A: "The Axis of Weasels.". "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Why shouldn't you argue with someone while riding the London Eye? Today, I feel 10% English.. Para-shooing. Why doesn't England have a designated kidney bank? I will come in dis-Guise. "Cinq," he answered. Watts measure energy, while 'Ohms' are the places that Brits reside in. It was called the bantam of the opera. Bill O'Reilly does not like France and the French. Because every play has a cast. Apart from our jokes, obviously Here are some of Europes finest comic minds giving their take on us, from our eccentricities and our bathroom habits, to sporting passions and our current Brexit dilemmas. Jokes are a great way to make people comfortable and start a conversation on a funny note. 15. 99. 5. What do British nuclear engineers eat? A tourist.. What did the loanshark say to the Frenchman who loaned some money? We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. 90. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. He even went as far as naming his ice cream shop 'The Rolling Cones'. You have to stab him/her with a baguette. Why were you Rodin your car under influence? On the way home, the woma. What is it about a good name that can really make us laugh? 141. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! Why did the graduate reminisce his college days in England so fondly? An English cat named OneTwoThree and a French cat named UnDeuxTrois decided to swim across the lake, but only one cat survived the journey. During this journey, he visits Basildon (having been told it is the heart of Middle England), discovers the mysteries of the British pub, jellied eels, afternoon tea, imperial measures and Marmite. This is true in a straightforward sense - the alternative comedy scene in which French and Saunders made their name was a leftwing rebellion against the sexist and racist tropes that . But as our preparations for leaving the EU unravel faster than a pound-shop sweater, were faced with the sobering realisation that we may now be the butt of the joke. He smiles as he is looking her up and down. They were in the back peeking through the crowd of people, The performer noticed them struggling to see and notices a wooden box nearby. British ghosts really like drinking tea. The English Strait was having a rough month, so his friend suggested that he channel his energy into being productive. You sow the seeds and wait for it to rain for 600 years., The food? Oh, you again. Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "North career" means. 55. It is the CAP, Ecofin and Eurostat. features 345 jokes, many contributed by readers of Seignoverts blog, Europeisnotdead. 51. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. Why do many art critics love to read about French painter, Eugne Delacroix? What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast? You're pretty 'Fahrenheit.'. He named it 'Surelock Homes'. My favorite rapper is 50 cent or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds. 33. She is fond of classic British literature. What do you give a British person who made a grave error during a match? 124. What do you do if you're driving your car in central London and you see a space man? Even the waiter was impressed because it was a Chinese restaurant. 1. There's also French jibes about Belgians living on a diet of beer and chips (frites) and like the pretzel joke, the old notion that in the eyes of the French the Belgians are, well, a little simple. Whats the best ever thing to have come to us from Sweden? Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. General George S. Patton, "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." 136. 'Londoff'. Q. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. I like both kinds of British cuisine fish AND chips. Their favorite part of summer trips was always Bath time. They pronounced him 'guilt-tea' in court. 26. Because the Belgians got to choose first. And What do Belgian mothers do when the babys bathwater is too hot? 100. Instead, I came back to France and realised I was more French than I thought, he says, almost ruefully. Conan O'Brien, "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. Conan O'Brien, Santorum made a speech and said, If we follow the path of President Obama and his overt hostility to faith in America, then we are heading down the road to the guillotine. The guillotine, really? What you probably don't know is that it is also used to call someone "lazy" or "dummy.". How do cows stay up to date? A 'UK-lele. Why does everyone love visiting France? The Swedes on the (dim-witted) Norwegians: Why do Norwegians have such greasy hair? By looking over your shoulder. Many British people tend to make 'pour' decisions after going to the pub. 10. Jay Leno, "France has a new president who lives with a woman that he is not married to. Q. Just say no, he says. The Best Jokes About British People That Won't Fail To Make You Laugh Aivaras Kaziukonis and Melanie Gervasoni The British have a reputation for having a stiff upper lip, being super polite and reserved, but there's a whole other side of them that never gets enough love. 'Queuecumbers.'. What do you call a Dollar Store in England? 21. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. 21. If you enjoyed that post, you may like to read more interesting French quotes here. What was the man feeling after getting swindled under Big Ben? Its your shoes hes looking at, not his). Marmite? But even though we give the French a lot of slack. It was a revival of 'Les Misrables' called 'The French Are Losers.'" 47. Why did the tourist get his eyesight fixed before going to Britain? 113. Without stopping his performance he stands on the box and says, "Can u see me". What is London called when it doesn't have any electricity? Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. 162. 145. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death." What is a trip to France without the food? An American tourist visited a 5-star hotel in Paris. I replied "Spaghett-tea of course.". Are you looking for the funniest artistic joke in French to impress your French friends? What happened to the old one? The only problem is I'm British 101. "The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity." Traditional French joke: "A plane crashes on a desert island. Some of them are pretty. We learn in school to thank Jeanne dArc for kicking the English out of France. 161. What does a Czech need to be happy? 28. Great food, no atmosphere! When can a British have some fun? Why do people barely complain about life in France? Pound Town. Two English fish were debating how to pay for the lunch they were going to order. ". Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. What did the wife say to her husband when they bought a new house in France? He could never play the 'crumpet' really well. We dont need to all have the same cultural identity.. But Seignovert, remember, is French, so what he says should clearly not be taken too seriously. My British cousin recently opened up her own fish and chips shop. Paris! It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times. What did Shakespeare call his shower? It is a oui bit different! What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? 45. Laugh Yourself Fluent: 10 Crowd-pleasing Jokes in French 1. They don't like to go near 'Wales'. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. Non, non, non, he grimaces. If a British person takes a close look at something, how would you describe it? Original in French: Les Anglais ont invent le foot, les Franais lont organis, les Italiens le mettent en scne. The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. "Yes, it was provided by our good friends from . English humor is famous from one side of the planet to the other because of its mindful nature, which likewise loans to the notoriety of British stand-up parody. 60 Hilarious British Jokes. 9 Kid Jokes in French & Translation & Audio Pronunciation . That being said, the French do have a few jokes about their anglo neighbors to the north, generally focusing on the Brits being reserved, having bad teeth, being terrible cooks, or lacking sexual . 116. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. You can easily bank on me. 'Wouldiwas Shookspeared.'. Q. In the words of one particularly fine Belgian quip: How does a Frenchman commit suicide? Those were the best of Thames. Still, he perks up: At a time when everyone watches the same television series, listens to the same music and has the same cultural references, its good that there are so many differences between countries that are so close. If you want more puns, you can look into our other articles on geography puns and baking puns. I didnt like that people found it impossible to say no. 15. Commenting on a stereotype about both the French and the English, whether or not it is true. Why don't Americans spell "color" like "colour?" Why did the woman have a horrible time in London? 26. What does a British real estate agent care most about? When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Shut up, I'm trying to win this thing.'" When is society going to come to terms with the fact that these anti-FIFA activists are bad for civil society? creative tips and more. 13. What did the loanshark say to the Frenchman who loaned some money? I Cannes watch the French Riviera from this view. Now Carle, 31, has completed what may be his toughest test so far: trying to understand and identify with the English. It's called 'British Hairways'. He Brexit. If you're British. 29. How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn? Then he decided to make a sandwich from scratch, including growing his own wheat and catching his own tuna. 7. After Eight mints: be a devil, have one before supper. He had gone 'Baroque'. They unload all the cargo, and the plane is still too heavy. With this list, you are bound to have some pun on your trip to France. 'McBath'. One should avoid a 'casual-tea' as much as possible. 'Hey, macaroon-a.'. 151. The chief says to them, "you must die for intruding our land. Ill bring six pints of bitter, says the Englishman. A. ', 91. The beer containers! Original in French: Leau est llment fondamental de la cuisine anglaise. French singer Daniel Darc, A reference to the English love of tea, compared to the haute gastronomie of French cuisine , Original in French: Je sais maintenant pourquoi les Anglais prfrent le th: je viens de goter leur caf. Pierre-Jean Vaillard. Why do French people simply love their country and cultural heritage? The only thing the French are good at is looking in their car rear mirrors during the war Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine . I liked the absence of harassment of women in the streets; France has a lot to learn here. I hope your Degas great! But it is also the Finns who snicker at overbearing Swedes (Whats the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? A man told his wife from Brighton, "You really 'Brighton' up my life.". Find something to occupy you in the meantime. Some of them are pretty crude and unsubtle, but theyre rarely downright nasty. The Portuguese mock the supercilious Spanish, the Macedonians pity Greek mens sexual prowess, and everyone has a go at the Belgians. What type of breakfast do French people usually prefer? After running her errands, she returned to the library and picked him up. What's the best way for an American to lose weight? These hilarious English jokes and puns will knock your socks off! It made no cents. See examples . It is not in good nature to look down on someone when joking. I bought some "London Bridge Jeans". Gamble in British currency. It also consists of funny jokes in French, French jokes for kids, and French dad jokes, and the like. France is known for its rich cultural significance.